Normally the Chinese will invite the guests to dinner at home by word of mouth. Unlike westerners who will likely make the invitation a week or days ahead, the Chinese will probably make the invitation just one day or even hours ahead, which sometimes causes inconvenience.

    When you are invited to a Chinese home, remember to bring a gift with you as a token for respect. This is part of the Chinese courtesy. The common thing to bring is fruit or some ready-made food. Of course a bottle of wine or some chocolate are also popular nowadays. As for the time to arrive, the Chinese are not particular about that. Probably the Chinese food is cooked and served after guests are present, not like Western cooking, which is baked or roasted to make it ready just for the time when the guests arrive. Generally speaking, the Chinese will arrive earlier either to give a helping hand to the hostess or to have a casual chat with the hostess before the other guests arrive. Of course, five to ten minutes late won't cause any noticeable inconvenience.

    It is not common for the host and hostess to meet you at the door to take your coat. Remember to observe the household custom to change into slippers upon entering. After you are seated, you will most likely be offered the Chinese green tea. It is not the Chinese custom to ask your preference for drinks.

    For family gatherings, the Chinese don't observe very rigid formality. For example, you will not be introduced to the other guests. So you should take the initiative to make yourself known and welcomed by the others.

    While at the table, the seat facing the east or the south is reserved for the honored guest. As for the round table, the guest of honor sits directly across from the host, who takes the least honorable seat near the serving door. The host will usually apologize in advance, according to the Chinese courtesy, for the meager and ill-prepared meal about to be served. But what waits for you are like a banquet.

    The host or the hostess will keep putting food to your plate as soon as you have finished yours. To the Chinese, to leave the guest not fully filled is impolite, while to a westerner not finishing the food on his/her own plate is impolite. The very misunderstanding conception will always cause you to overeat. So to save yourself from overeating, leave food on your plate when you cannot eat any more. Under no circumstances should you put the food back. It is the Chinese courtesy for the host to prepare more than enough for the guests. If everything is finished on the table, it will embarrass the host and hostess because it means they don't treat the guests well and they are not generous enough.

    As the meal is the most important for the gathering, guests will leave soon after the meal to allow time for the hostess to do the cleaning. A polite way for you to excuse yourself is to say, "You must be tired. I'll let you have a good rest."